Burnout, Compassion, Enthusiasm

Self-compassion is not just a therapeutic buzzword. It is a transformative practice that can fundamentally change how we move through failure, exhaustion, and the feeling of being overwhelmed.

In this deeply personal essay, experiential educator and facilitator Anastasia Priyamvada Charitidou shares her journey from clinical burnout and self-punishment to the discovery of self-compassion as a way of living.

Drawing on the research of Kristin Neff, pioneer of self-compassion in psychology, alongside spiritual teachings and embodied practices, this text explores the three core components of self-compassion: mindful awareness rather than over-identification, kindness toward oneself rather than self-judgment, and common humanity rather than isolation.

It reflects on how self-compassion, when paired with authentic enthusiasm, can become not only a tool for personal healing, but also a sustainable foundation for mental health, resilience, and meaningful work.

If you have struggled with perfectionism, emotional exhaustion, or the quiet pressure to always do more and be more, this article offers both scientifically grounded perspectives and lived wisdom on why self-compassion may be the most practical and radical choice available.

When Perfectionism Leads to Burnout

I was terrible at self-compassion.

Not just bad – terrible. The kind of terrible that would make a therapist raise an eyebrow – or two. And on some occasions, I’m pretty sure they booked an appointment with their own therapist just after ours!

The type of terrible that made other people struggling with their own stuff feel kind of relieved in comparison with my exaggerated, dramatic way of sucking at self-compassion. You know, being kind and understanding towards myself when I was failing wasn’t in the picture – at all. I was feeling all alone in my suffering. And I was suffering in a profound, deep, and kind of comical way- so much that people found new perspectives on their own drama while witnessing mine.

The kind of terrible that made some friends constantly worried, and others became strangely neutralized – apathetic, even – in front of my super “pathetic” way of being – not pathetic as in pitiful, but in the quite literal sense of something constantly occurring and me feeling it deeply. (It derives from the Greek word pathos– from παθαίνω, meaning “to suffer” or “to undergo.”)

For years, I mistook perfectionism for virtue, and emotional and physical rest and self-care for weakness. But, on the contrary, professional overwhelm? That was a badge of honour. I thought harshness would make me stronger. It didn’t. It just made me tired. Really, really tired- clinically burned out.

Inner Chaos and Self-Punishment

Turns out, not being great at self-compassion marked the beginning of a long, messy, and unexpectedly enthusiastic journey. One that took me from burnout to compassion, and back again – with a constant, evolving quest to be of service to the world while continually re-evaluating what it means to be me, more wholly and more authentically.

Growing up, I was often told that I was acting like I was banging my head against a wall and expecting the wall to break in front of my head – that was how intensely and insistently I moved through the world.

At one point, during the buildup of my first burnout, having a dramatic inclination – both in how I experienced life and in my then – profession – my “self-soothing” or self-punishing technique (as self-punishment was one form of self-soothing) involved lightly banging my head on wooden surfaces when overwhelmed or frustrated by feeling too much or not enough.

I wasn’t self-harming exactly- just overwhelmed, confused, and trying to make sense of a world that didn’t seem to make space for the way I felt. I needed a way out of this overflowing energy. In those days, it was wooden doors, furniture, elevator walls- nothing extreme, not in front of others, just a physical expression of the dead-end I felt I was literally head-ing toward.

This habit subsided when I came to accept that heads tend to crack before walls do, and I still needed mine to have a positive impact on the world.

Finding a Spiritual Refuge on the Other Side of the World

Sacred Connection in the Canary Islands

So I moved away and volunteered on a year-long project in the Canary Islands.

There – was it the goddess of serendipity? – I unexpectedly found myself immersed in spiritual experiences influenced by the traditions of the Guanche– Indigenous people of the Canary Islands- and North American Indigenous teachings. I felt deep joy and reverence for creation, the elements, the directions, animals, and community- but also fear. A deep fear.

How do you stay connected to everything sacred when the world around you is steeped in disconnection?

Meeting Amma and the First Acts of Self-Compassion

Then, whether out of just another impulsive move or divine guidance, I followed a social media post that led me to Italy to meet a small Indian woman in a white saree, lovingly called Amma by the people around her. I hadn’t done any research. I’d just heard things like, “She’s kind… helps a lot of people… a huge humanitarian.”

I figured maybe she was a healer? A meditation teacher? A guru? Honestly, I wasn’t even that familiar with the term guru.

Anyway, I joined. And soon I found myself, surrounded by thousands of people, flooded with internal chaos:

“What are you doing here?”
“Who is this woman?”
“What is all this?”

And somewhere in that swirl, a small voice whispered, “Shhh.”

It happened again and again. Questions would rise, only to be met with “Shhh.”
It became a pattern.

And somehow, that simple shhh became one of the first acts of compassion toward my overthinking mind, even if, more often than not, my mind rebelled against it- infuriated.

Recognising That Compassion Was Already There

Looking back, I realized compassion had already shown up. There were other acts of self-compassion- quiet, almost imperceptible- even during my weird furniture headbanging phase.

There was always something self-protective in the way I chose soft surfaces, avoided harm, and never let it become a lasting habit. I didn’t know the concept yet, but even there, there was a quiet thread of self-compassion running beneath the chaos. A clumsy, unspoken care for my current and future self.

It took a long time- and a series of unexpected turns- for me to learn how to walk a different path with more awareness and confidence.

There was confusion, drama, and heartbreak.

As I came to realize, despite my constantly objecting mind, that white- dressed Indian woman had a way of softening even heartbreak.

And there was a lot of trial and error.

I first encountered compassion as a conscious spiritual principle through Amma.

When Science Meets Spirituality: My Thesis on Compassion

Somewhere between all that recurring suffering and the various lessons it brought, I did what made sense to a recovering burned-out overthinker: I wrote a thesis.

Because I hadn’t given a name to my burnout then- I actually came across the term burnout during those studies- and “doing” was one of the few ways I knew how to exist.

While researching, I came across many theories and concepts, but the one I was least familiar with was the one that called to me most: self-compassion.

And so, a thesis on movement and compassion was born out of the reluctant awareness that I was still truly, spectacularly bad at it.

The Emergence of a New Inner Dialogue

And slowly, a new kind of internal conversation began.

It wasn’t grand or life-changing overnight, but it was different.

Gentler. Curious, even.

Faith, trust, and confidence showed up too- but not in the way I’d once thought.

Not faith in external saviors, but in oneself. In our own capacity to learn, to soften, to show up again and be in this together- our shared, common humanity.

Self-compassion, self-confidence, and self-love– when rooted in the understanding that we are part of something greater, that the individual self belongs to the whole- can echo outward as compassion, empowerment, and love for the world.

Dismantling Inner Walls: Identifying Inherited Beliefs

But how could I talk about compassion toward myself or others without examining the internal walls I’d built?

What thoughts were really mine?

What beliefs had I inherited- about worth, struggle, love, success?

What had been taught to me and absorbed silently through family, culture, and education?

A sense of powerlessness in the face of hatred- both inward and outward- had almost solidified.

And so, the work began: unlearning those patterns from the only place I could- my own mind.

Science helped. It gave my skeptical brain something to hold on to- a little candy, a little reassurance.

From Holistic Embodiment Practices to Creative Movement

As I deepened my research, especially in positive psychology and body-based practices, I began exploring the theoretical frameworks behind methods I had long been drawn to, and which I had been practicing and guiding in various contexts for years.

I started shaping my own approach, which I called at the time Holistic Embodiment and Ensoulment Practices, drawing from the diverse traditions I had already been immersed in.

What I was forming in the context of my thesis interventions had many similarities with what is known as Creative Movement– a body-based method situated within the broader field of movement practices.

This reciprocal relationship between theory and experience gave my mind a framework to understand what my body had been exploring for years, and gave my body the space to further reveal what my mind had been trying to grasp.

Compassion as a Principle: A Compass for Everyday Life

Here’s what I discovered- in plain terms- that made me realize compassion is not just a quality or emotion. It’s a principle. A compass for everyday life.

Researching it, practicing it, and experiencing it over time, I now perceive compassion as the only way forward in today’s societies- a principle that encompasses all others.

While often associated with Buddhism- and in fact directly derived from its practices- compassion is a common thread across spiritual and ethical traditions throughout history.

The Three Pillars of Self-Compassion According to Science: From Theory to Practice

Kristin Neff and the Three Pillars of Self-Compassion

Kristin Neff, the pioneer researcher on self-compassion, brought this concept into Western psychology, deeply influenced by her own Buddhist practices.

Her work gave me structure. She defined self-compassion as consisting of three core components:

Mindfulness instead of over-identification
Self-kindness instead of self-judgment
Common humanity instead of isolation

And isn’t this exactly what spiritual teachings have been whispering for years?

“Step back and witness your thoughts. The problem begins when you identify with them.”

So what is it, really, when we acknowledge a painful thought or emotion, not making it our identity, yet not minimizing or suppressing it either?

That is mindfulness, rather than over-identification.

When we turn towards our own pain- not to punish ourselves, but to meet it with tenderness- that is self-kindness instead of self-judgment.

And when we recognize that pain, failure, and suffering are part of being human, not a personal flaw, but a shared experience- that is common humanity.

The Scientifically Supported Benefits of Self-Compassion

Research shows that self-compassion is both innate and learnable.

It enhances emotional and physical well-being, resilience, relationships, learning, motivation, wisdom, and gratitude.

It reduces shame, anxiety, stress, depression, self-judgment, and isolation.

In short:
It’s very self-compassionate to be self-compassionate- and sustainable.

Also, it’s quite practical. Especially if, like me, you’ve tried most of the other options- criticism, perfectionism, burnout- and none of them worked nearly as well.

“Don’t Lose Your Enthusiasm”: The Revelation That Changed Everything

This has been a long, long process.

I remember years ago, one of many moments of spiritual frustration and existential agony, when I asked a question, half in desperation:

Where should I focus my energy?
Which of all these practices is the key?
The key to what, exactly? Happiness? Calm? Meaning?

The answer came- clear, annoying, and disappointingly uneventful:

“Keep doing what you’re doing. Just don’t lose your enthusiasm.”

It sounded like one of those vague spiritual slogans I’d heard a hundred times before- “There’s no way to happiness, happiness is the way.”

So at first, I didn’t appreciate it. At all. I was confused. Frustrated. Kind of offended, honestly. But much, much later- I remembered.

Enthusiasm– en theos– originally meant “in God” or “possessed by a god.”

Not “God” in the religious sense, but the divine spark. The something-larger-than-you.

The Greeks used it to describe poets, dancers, and trance states- people moved by a creative force so strong, it felt like a visitation.

That kind of inspiration- the spark that moves you not because you should, but because you can’t not- might just be the most radical form of self-compassion I know.

So maybe that was the point.

Keep doing what you’re doing.
Do it with presence.
Do it with enthusiasm.

And so I did.

Kind of.

On and off. (You remember me and drama.)

But I did manage- bit by bit- to express all that overflowing energy as enthusiasm instead of drama.

Maybe that was the source all along. Maybe it just got channelled the wrong way- or through the wrong story.

And so, with that “little” task entrusted to me, I committed myself to continue my journey into the depths of compassion- inner and outer, fierce and tender.

To love and kindness.
To doing what I can.
To remembering to do it enthusiastically.
And to doing my best to inspire others along the way.

Through turns and spirals, joy and burnout, thesis and theatre- and many rejections (or, as a more compassionate or optimistic self would call them, redirections)- there were research projects and workshops. There was space-holding, exploration, and deep dives into new territories.

And there was also a mountain of bureaucracy and administrative tasks, all in the name of getting the funding to offer what I deeply want to offer: for free, to anyone who might benefit- and to offer myself the opportunity to be in one of my favorite places in the world:

A circle of people, preferably in nature, but otherwise anywhere we can collectively witness and explore our very human nature in action, and offer each other the rare gift of full attention.

comPASSION is sexy: Transforming Compassion into a Social Movement

All of it- somehow- led me here.

To this moment.
To this article.

After a whirlwind professional romance with Erasmus+ projects, this piece is being born inside one that’s especially close to my heart: “comPASSION is sexy.”

What is this, I hear you wondering?

I’m glad you asked.

This EU-funded initiative, co-created by Olotites (the organization I founded in Greece) and Les Philentropes in France, is developing a compassion-based methodology that integrates body–mind practices, positive psychology, and the arts.

We lead workshops in Greece and France, we also create digital content- podcasts, articles, videos- in English, French, and Greek, to make these ideas and practices widely accessible.

Even though I don’t always highlight the “sexiness” part during our workshops, the title comPASSION is sexy serves as a playful invitation- an attempt to reclaim compassion as something valuable, alive, and yes, even sexy for young people and future societies.

The Subtle Balance: Enthusiasm and Compassion, a Necessary Dance

Having experienced burnout up close (and more than once), let me share with you my personal sexy reminder:

Enthusiasm without (self)compassion can turn into overextension, emotional exhaustion, or a slightly inflated sense of purpose that ends up hollow. It may look shiny from the outside, but it’s not sustainable.

(Self)compassion without enthusiasm, on the other hand, can quietly drift into something else- compassion fatigue, numbness, or a kind of gentle detachment that forgets its spark. It becomes careful, maybe still kind- but lacking that inner fire, it risks sinking into fatigue, inertia, or a soft kind of resignation.

I’m not talking about true enthusiasm or real self-compassion. Those are sustaining.

I’m talking about their shadows- or the impostors.

The distorted versions that look like the real thing but aren’t rooted in truth and authenticity.

Seen from a more hopeful lens- backed up by scientific research- both enthusiasm and compassion are socially contagious.

When they’re not forced- when they come from a real place- they ripple outward.

They become connecting forces.
They animate people, spaces, and communities.
They remind us why we care.

It’s definitely not about choosing one or the other, but about letting them check and support each other.

A clever feedback loop.

And maybe that’s the invitation:

To befriend and embrace that loop.

Because that is the simple yet profound core of self-compassion:

To embrace ourselves as we would a good and dear friend in their time of suffering, when we are centered in our being.

So, cheers to the embraces we receive, the ones we seek, and most importantly, the ones we give ourselves.

May our thoughts, words, and actions arise from love and compassion toward ourselves and all creation.

May we remember that sometimes the wall doesn’t need to break.

We just need to sit- or dance- beside it, and listen.

And then choose- to stay, or to leave.

With enthusiasm and compassion.

Sources / Bibliography

Kristin Neff’s foundational work on self-compassion
because I build on her framework.
Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.
https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/publications/SCtheoryarticle.pdf

A review paper linking self-compassion to wellbeing and resilience
This supports the broader claims without over-specifying outcomes.
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the Mindful Self-Compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28–44.
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jclp.21923

One applied or burnout-related source
Gilbert, P. (2010). Compassion Focused Therapy. Routledge.
https://www.routledge.com/Compassion-Focused-Therapy/Gilbert/p/book/9780415484453

About the Author and Project

Anastasia Priyamvada Charitidou is an experiential educator, theatre pedagogue, and founder of Olotites. She is also a project manager and creator of EU- funded initiatives focused on compassion, wellbeing, and empowerment. With a background in embodiment, compassion- based education, and international youth work, she explores how inner well-being and social change are deeply interconnected. She currently co-leads the Erasmus+ project “comPASSION is sexy” across Greece and France.

About this article:
This article was written in the context of the Erasmus+ KA210- YOU small-scale partnership project “comPASSION is sexy” (Project Code: 2024- 3- FR02- KA210-YOU-000295806), co-funded by the European Union. The project is a collaboration between Les Philentropes (France) and Olotites (Greece), focused on compassion-based approaches to youth empowerment, inclusion, and well-being.

Funded by the European Union. Views and opinions expressed are, however, those of the author(s) only and do not necessarily reflect those of the European Union or the European Education and Culture Executive Agency (EACEA). Neither the European Union nor the granting authority can be held responsible for them.

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